Richard Thornton | May 1, 2017 | 2
International Sisterhood of Short Native Women
An angry crowd of short, irate Muskogee women just appeared at my cabin door. All were carrying bowls of hot sofkee, which they threatened to coat my Explorer with unless I gave balanced reporting in the future. In a signed written agreement with the local clan leader of the International Sisterhood of Short Native Women, our editorial staff agreed to publish this editorial opinion letter, if the sofkee was fed to my herd dogs instead of plastered on my car. It is as follows.
I have to amend this a bit. As a vertically challenged Mvskoke woman, I feel an obligation to point out what everyone under 5’3″ knows and that is that the Little People actually built the mounds. They accompanied the great Viking chieftain Santa Claus (who was actually a Saami) on his epic snowshoe and caribou side saddle journey around the world traveling along glacial ice trails between both polar ice caps and along the spines of the Alps, Carpathians, Andes, Rockies and Himalayas, stopping only to take a beagle-powered pirogue across the Kamchatka Peninsula which at the time was a semi-tropical paradise due to the large quantities of perpetually burning Vodka that had permeated the peat bogs.
Having finally arrived in the general vicinity of the North Pole, Chief Santa wanted to name it New Saamidom, but the Little People over-ruled him and instead chose the name Ninewy-yahoo Land. Santa turned out to be pretty prolific with the female Little People and so produced a race of somewhat taller folks (5′ 3 1/2″) who became mound-builders. I know this because I regularly drink beer with full-blood Little People (i.e. those with 4 grandparents under 5’2″). And besides, there’s a movie all about it that plays all winter long every year. And everybody knows that movies are true, especially when viewed through a haze of beer. LOL
And as for the Adena-Hopewell crew, well it’s obvious they’re Vulcans. In my next note, I’ll explain to you how we Little People build our space vehicles and how we taught not only the Viking Santa Claus, but the Vulcans and Romulans everything they knew. And I defy anybody to try and convince me that the beagle is not a ferocious prehistoric canine. Just ask any relative of Brer Rabbit, errr Nanabush?
Deborah’s history from the vertically challenged perspective.
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Richard Thornton is a professional architect, city planner, author and museum exhibit designer-builder. He is today considered one of the nation’s leading experts on the Southeastern Indians. However, that was not always the case. While at Georgia Tech Richard was the first winner of the Barrett Fellowship, which enabled him to study Mesoamerican architecture and culture in Mexico under the auspices of the Institutio Nacional de Antropoligia e Historia. Dr. Roman Piňa-Chan, the famous archaeologist and director of the Museo Nacional de Antropologia, was his fellowship coordinator. For decades afterward, he lectured at universities and professional societies around the Southeast on Mesoamerican architecture, while knowing very little about his own Creek heritage. Then he was hired to carry out projects for the Muscogee-Creek Nation in Oklahoma. The rest is history.Richard is the Tribal Historic Preservation Officer for the KVWETV (Coweta) Creek Tribe and a member of the Perdido Bay Creek Tribe. In 2009 he was the architect for Oklahoma’s Trail of Tears Memorial at Council Oak Park in Tulsa. He is the president of the Apalache Foundation, which is sponsoring research into the advanced indigenous societies of the Lower Southeast.
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